The Not-Couple in the Booth Near the Back
by FrankandJoe3
Summary: Dick and Wally are regular attendants of a steakhouse in Gotham. Some days they brighten a strangers day, and others they discuss their relationships.


**Day four of summer and it still hasn't hit me. Until it does, I'm going to try and stuff in as many fics and drabbles and updates as I can. After this, I'm going to attempt another one-shot and then I'll update The Ward. I promise. I'm just craving some serious Birdflash right now and I've got more ideas than I know how to handle. This is more of a bromance here, but I need to clear wall space for doodles and the prompt was pinned up.**

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Keens Steakhouse in Gotham City was best known for being 'the soul of old Gotham' with its 19th century feel, right down to the attire of the waiters that serve you. Mutton chops, pipes, and a sense of dark manliness helped the restaurant gain its current popularity, with the obvious aid of their prized steaks.

The waiters sat through day in and day out of stuffy tourists and folks with money to kill, watching the clock eagerly until their shifts came to end, up until two men came in one Tuesday afternoon after the usual dinner crowd.

One was recognized from the moment he tucked his sunglasses into his jacket as the acclaimed Dick Grayson, ward of the famous Bruce Wayne. His black hair was wind strewn and his grin was quick in growing as he shrugged his outer leather, apologizing for the non-formal attire.

"We got held up today," he said with a little smirk, earning a muffled snicker from his companion who seemed to be nursing a quick growing bruise to the jaw, "and we're craving steak like nothing else. Got anything for us?"

His companion had hair as red as the bricks in the wall and more freckles than flesh along the bridge of his nose. His smile was a bit more sheepish as he shrugged his jacket, as though he wasn't quite used to formal restaurants without sports games playing on flat screens overhead.

When the waiters sat them to a tablet, the two kept pleasant conversation with each other and their servers, until the redhead had warmed up and they had what was left of the place laughing and socializing with one another.

The two left a few minutes before closing time, shaking their servers hands and promising to come back soon. The waiters had never been more genuine in asking them to keep that promise.

They did. Every Tuesday after the dinner crowd had thinned, the two would show up with big grins and bright eyes. Sometimes they'd be hiding bruises and other times they'd be showing them off. Every social media network knew it now, and the newspapers were picking up on it, to the point they had to station a few police officers by the entrance. No one ever caused trouble, though. They asked the redhead his name and he'd proudly tell them, spelling it out and posing for pictures if they ever asked. Dick would poke his head into most of them.

Dick and the newly famed 'Wally West' were well-loved by the people of Keens and the internet.

That's why when they missed a Tuesday, a bit of panic stirred up. They hadn't missed a Tuesday in two months. Everyone was asking where they went, but only the servers got an answer after hours on the following Thursday.

Dick and Wally came to the door, out of breath and nursing a few more nicks than what the make-up expertly covered. They held onto their grins all the same, asking to be let in, a bit out of breath.

The servers reminded them reluctantly about the closing time and the redhead held up a weary hand.

"We just need a quiet place for a little bit. You guys can head home if you'd like."

There was quiet.

"I'll pay for the trouble," Dick added, brushing his hair back with a weary sigh.

The keys were left on the counter after their steaks were brought up and they were left specific instructions on locking up. When they were alone, duly and truly, they both heaved a sigh of relief and resumed the conversation they had started on the way to the restaurant.

"Out in the woods, then?" Wally hit his straw on the table until it slid from its paper coffin, twirling it between his fingers like a baton unconsciously for a long moment.

"No. She'll get ticks, poison ivy, bug bites and everything else out there- and then she wont talk to you for a few weeks."

He brought his lips together and shook his head, poking the straw into his Dr. Pepper.

"... dinner?"

Dick gave a soft laugh at the thought, bringing over another chair to rest his aching leg on, swirling his own straw in his tea to mix it properly.

"How the hell are you going to entertain her over food?" he leaned a bit closer, an eyebrow raising.

Wally raised an eyebrow in suit, "I'm entertaining you over food."

Dick snorted at the thought and leaned back, bringing his drink back with him.

"We're discussing your sex life," he reminded his friend.

"Sex-less life," the redhead corrected wearily.

He pushed his cup to the side as he cut into his steak, taking a hefty peace from the center and stuffing his cheeks.

"Well, maybe that would change if you'd go on dates with your girlfriend instead of ones with me."

The emerald eyes rolled in the faintest and through a mouth of meat managed out a, "Come on, work with me."

"I am," the ebony insisted with the slightest tug to his smile, "but I'm working a little harder on this steak. Still feeling that last guy in my teeth. For a scrawny guy, he could really-"

"Dick!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he hid a smile with a bite of steak, " Look, I don't see why you're so upset over this girl."

Wally hunched over and rested his elbows on the table, having the decency to swallow before answering this time.

"I think I love this one," he said slowly, chasing it down with a drink.

Dick smirk nearly consumed his whole face at even the idea and he shook his head, lifting his fork and jabbing it accusingly at the other with a little shake of his head.

"No, you love cheese puffs. This is just a quick lay."

He stuffed his smirk before his friend could tell him to, leaning back out of arm reach. Wally had half a mind to kick him under the table, but he wasn't sure about his big toe, so he decided against it.

"I really think this one's different. I was thinking of telling her... you know... about..." he rubbed the back of his neck and his eyes flickered to the bruises and cuts they were sporting, bringing Dick's eyes to widen.

It was rule #1 in a handbook that didn't need to be written that you didn't tell people about your secret identity. That wasn't a thing you did. Not to a family member, not to a friend, and definitely not to a chick you planned to bang.

"That would completely cancel your chances of getting laid."

Wally nearly choked on his drink. He had expected the Batman talk from Mr. Dark Shades, or something about the integrity of the job.

"Wha- chicks dig supers!" he defended himself.

"Your name is Kid Flash," Dick reminded him, lips pursed to hide a slow growing smirk.

Wally didn't see the problem in that.

"..and?"

"Those are the two things you don't want to be called in bed."

The redhead rolled his eyes, barely managing to hold back a smile of his own. "That's rich, Boy Wonder."

"Hey, at least I have a wonder in my name.," Dick shrugged, leaning forward to take a drink. "You're in and out."

Wally set his drink down a little too forcefully, eyes narrowing.

"Dude, I'm a human vibrator!"

His fingers vibrated around the glass as though to make a point before he noticed and let go, shaking his hand off until it calmed.

"Good, you can be her best friend when a real guy breaks up with her. Human ice cream tub, too?"

The emerald eyes narrowed even tighter as Dick beamed proudly, sipping out of his tea like the smug little rich boy he was. Wally had to press his teeth together to keep from giving him the satisfaction of a smile.

"You really aren't helping here," he got out through clenched teeth.

Dick's grin held a moment longer before he shucked it with a little sigh, bringing forward an elbow and resting his jaw in his palm.

"What do you want me to say? Artemis was the closest thing you'd get and she ditched you."

"Thanks for the reminder."

Weary blue eyes lifted to meet his friend's and they held gazes a moment before they looked away from each other, busying themselves with their steaks over the tension.

"I'm sorry," Dick said quietly after long enough of a silence, "Look, you're twenty. Are you sure you want to be worrying about stuff like this? You're not the kind for commitment."

Wally bit his lip faintly, fist clenching for a flicker of a second.

"Says you," he tried to get out roughly, but only managed as a little sigh.

"You can't keep a dog for more than a month before it bores you."

"I don't like an animal I can lap," Wally admitted with a smile.

Dick echoed it, making his grow to fill his cheeks.

"Maybe I'll get you a drag car. Think you can remember to feed it?" the younger offered a wink and drew out a breath of a laugh.

Wally couldn't help but laugh, but he managed to sober up when his mind set back on track.

"Shut up, this is serious."

"Right," Dick raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. "No it's not. You don't want to get married. You want something to stick your dick in that's not your hand."

"That's not-" Wally raised a hand and pointed it accusingly, fully prepared to defend himself.

Dick was ready, arms crossing over his chest again.

"Whats her favorite color?" he challenged.

Wally went to answer, only to realize that he had no clue. "I don't know! Who cares?"

"What's mine?"

"Green, but-"

Wally froze and met Dick's eyes, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Pathetic," Dick shook his head again, offering his friend a much needed smile. "Dude, _we_ have more of a connection than you and any of your girlfriends ever had."

"So you're saying I should put my dick in you?" the redhead slumped forward, hand tangling into his hair.

"Buy me a drink first."

Wally looked over his Dr. Pepper at the other, cracking a grin.

"Steak isn't enough?" he raised an eyebrow of his own, as though to mock the other.

"I'm expensive, what can I say?" Dick shrugged, sticking his nose up like a rich boy again.

The silence spread between the two and they finished off their steaks with little more than the scrapes of their knives against the plates before the younger let out a sigh and moved his chair over beside Wally, turning his back to him. The redhead understood immediately and spread his fingers out between the ebony's shoulder blades, willing his hand to vibrate. The retired acrobat gave a relieved little sigh, head tipping back.

"What am I going to do about this then? I can't just dump her," Wally pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, moving his fingers slowly up the other's back.

Dick gave a little hum, tilting his chin down towards his chest. "Mm. You could."

Wally nodded with a shrug, contemplating the idea for a moment.

"I kind of like her, though," he decided as he made his way up to the other's right shoulder.

Dick had no complaints on the matter.

"So bone her," he murmured.

"What if she's not ready?" the redhead said more to himself.

"Then don't bone her."

Wally gave a little laugh.

"Thanks."

"Romance guru, right here, baby," Dick tilted his chin up to give a little grin before dropping right back again.

Wally scooted a bit closer and put his other hand to his other shoulder, pressing a little harder into the muscles when they resisted.

"What about you and Zatanna? What went wrong there?" he tilted his head to try and peek at the other's expression.

Dick didn't give much more than a little twitch. He became aware of how quickly he would give up a limb to take a stoicism 101 class from Batman. He'd win so many poker games that he'd be able to buy a replacement in the first two days.

"It's the job, man. It's poison. Takes us all out eventually," the ebony's voice shook heavily behind the vibrations.

"You killed her?" Wally teased.

"More like Bruce did," Dick forged a smile before pulling a spot-on Batman impression. "'Justice is the only woman you need in your life, Dick'. Just got done with it all. I couldn't commit, and I told her that."

"Inter-super dating isn't a good idea," Wally agreed, giving the other's shoulders a tight squeeze. "Looks like we cant happen."

"Don't say that, Wally. We've got something special," the younger smirked, "especially with hands like those."

Wally cracked a little grin, squeezing until the other flinched and reached back to punch him.

"What happened to me being the worst two things in the bedroom?" he teased.

"We're at dinner. It's different."

The redhead lessened his grip and moved his palms to the junction where the ebony's neck met his shoulders, pressing his thumbs tight into his back. The protest in the muscles beneath was astounding, seeing how relaxed Dick seemed to be.

"Christ, you been listening to music with these? You've got knots the size of the Batmobile in here."

Dick rolled his eyes, but muscles don't tend to lie. Wally felt the tense at the mention and pressed harder until Dick nudged him back with his shoulders. The redhead let go and held his friend's gaze, waiting until he turned back to reapply his hands.

"Babs still isn't talking to me," he admitted with a half-hearted shrug.

"Still?"

"I don't know, man. She thought me and Zatanna were destiny, or something," Dick brought his hands up and rubbed his face a little too roughly.

"Weird. I always thought she wanted in your spandex."

Dick turned and looked back up at his friend with a small press of a smile. "Maybe she does."

"Girls..." the redhead sighed.

"She's not a girl. She's Barbara. Big difference."

Wally's eyebrows shot up and he gave a low whistle.

"Ooh, got some star-crossed lovers thing going on? Justice-crossed?"

"Not a chance, Shakespeare," Dick failed to hide the twitch of a smile.

"Come on.." Wally baited.

The ebony shook his head.

"We're here to talk about your dick. Not mine."

"I already know about your dick."

Dick gave a breathy laugh at the reminder, fingers threading through his hair as he brushed it back.

"Bruce still wont let that go," he admitted.

"Sorry about that. Maybe I should take him to dinner, too."

"Your dick isn't going anywhere near my dad."

Both paused at Dick's choice of name for Bruce and Wally pulled back his hands, taking a drink in a quiet that he knew would give him his answer. When it didn't, he baited it.

"Dad, huh?"

"Didn't I tell you? He got the papers together a few weeks ago. Still getting used to it," Dick rubbed his neck, drawing his knee up beside him. "Too weird?"

"You could've called him Daddy," Wally shrugged.

"That name's reserved for you."

"Thanks, babe."

They smiled at each other and Wally got up from his chair, pushing it back under the table and stacking their plates.

"Yeah. Alright, let's get out of here. That's enough chick flick for me, tonight," he decided for them, getting a nod from Dick.

He ran the dishes back to the kitchen and snatched the keys from the counter, turning them over in his hands until the ebony snatched them back.

"Right. Back to the Cave?" Dick suggested, throwing his jacket over his shoulder and his shades up over his eyes.

Wally jogged ahead and held the door, waiting for the other to throw the tumblers before turning on heel.

"Depends. You 18 yet?"

"Last I checked."

Wally got a gleam in his eyes that outshone the street lights.

"Strip club," he declared.

"You have a girlfriend."

Wally sped so he stood in front of Dick, searching his face intensely.

"That wasn't a no," he said slowly.

Dick's eyes narrowed beneath the sunglasses.

"Right. Back to the Cave."

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**-F.J. III**


End file.
